As some of you know, I just returned home last week from a trip to New Orleans. This is actually the second vacation this summer (refuse to accept that it's fall/borderline winter even though it now gets bitch dark at 17:30) that I've gone to by bus, which I love. Who in their right mind would drive somewhere when there is a bus that goes DIRECT, for even cheaper? Why is the reputation of Greyhound so bad? Ok, I get it. The Greyhound stations are kinda trashy and I'm not exactly rubbin' elbows with the Kardashians (Is that America's new royal family? I'm having trouble keeping up (no pun intended)), but I do know that I can pop a vicodin and 6 dreamy hours later, I'm in my destination. My heart even sank a little bit when that poor guy got his head sawed off, for his sake and for the future of the reputation of Greyhound. I immediately found myself doing damage control for Greyhound after that incident, struggling to remind everyone that that took place in Canada and not the grand ol' USA. If that's not dedication, then I don't know what is. Some of you may be confused if you've read My Formal Letter Complaint to Greyhound . No children, I am not two-faced, I just really love bus travel.
America, especially Texas, has never really has gotten comfortable with public transportation. Our time-crunched image conscious culture doesn't really have room for Greyhound, which is quite sad because it's actually not a bad way to get around. I quickly discovered this in college when my friends used to stare at me blankly when I asked if they could pick me up from the Greyhound Station. I'm sure it didn't help that the station was stuck in a dark semi-abandoned area behind the railroad tracks, but I don't mind! The only thing that really irked me (and only from time to time) was the lone, borderline senile, tooth-missing representative who was always rude and slow as fuck. If you're old and having trouble typing, fair enough, but why should I have to wait for you to finish your afternoon snack before I check in? If I could put up with that, surely I will have no trouble chillin' in 36A while a trashy pregnant teen, recovering and/or current crackhead, or better yet, a "normal" person like me is beside me in 36B. I even once put up with a six year old Mexican child sleeping in my lap for two and a half hours once on a Greyhound ride in college. I continuously poked him throughout the ride in hopes that he'd stay off my lap, but his head kept bitch bobbing back down, so I said fuck it and treated him like he were one of my own. I tried to keep the head petting to a minimum, but what else are you supposed to do with a child is in your lap? Beat it? I even had a brilliant excuse crafted, in Spanish, just in case mommy came from a few rows behind and was horrified at little Antonio curled up on Rob's thigh. This incident quickly prompted me to write a letter to Greyhound expressing the need for complimentary pillows. No response.
Anyways, I never got the whole concept of "dealing" with people on the Greyhound bus. This is 21st century America, and last time I checked we were not on the Indian caste system. So why are the people who ride the Greyhound deemed untouchable? Are people really freaked out by sharing a row with someone of less fortunate financial status? I think that people have forgotten the serious pros to bus travel. Greyhound now has new renovated buses with outlets, wifi, more legroom, and Trapiche Malbec on tap. Ok, the part about the wine may or may not be true, but if you want to crack open a bottle (or two) in the middle of your journey, I guarantee you no one will say SHIT. Especially if you're sitting next to children. Imagine doing that if you're behind the wheel on the way to Dallas.
I recently just did the voyage from Houston-New Orleans. I'm still alive, I'm still borderline sane, I'm clean and no one robbed me. I even ate well. Quite possibly the best part about the journey is the beforehand preparation.... call me a freak, but I truly get a thrill out of preparing for my trip. Three sandwiches at Tom Thumb, check. Chocolate chip cookies, check. Dr. Pepper, check. Fully charged phone & computer, check (although I do secretly get off on wondering if my undercharged battery will make it to the next stop so I can quickly charge it just in time not to miss my bus), book that I'll never read because I sleep the entire journey, check. I arrived in New Orleans a few short hours later, well rested, ready to party and unhungry (I really wish there were a word for that... not quite full, but just not hungry, you know?) The journey on the way back was pretty interesting. I won't go into depth because I don't want to ruin my lesson of why bus travel is so damn cool, but let's just say I was sitting on the floor , stuck between the legs of a fat ass sous chef from Lafayette, while munching on catfish discussing the future of the New Orleans Saints like I actually gave a damn about football. If you're willing to sacrifice a bit of comfort for a unique experience, better price and fun, call me up and I'll show you how to let Greyhound (or even Megabus) take you to places you've never been before. Or just stay sleepy behind the wheel listening to shitty American pop music and struggle to keep yourself awake by singing at the top of your lungs while your "co-pilot" is passed out next to you. I bet that catfish and wine sounds pretty delicious now, doesn't it? Go Saints!
Anyways, I never got the whole concept of "dealing" with people on the Greyhound bus. This is 21st century America, and last time I checked we were not on the Indian caste system. So why are the people who ride the Greyhound deemed untouchable? Are people really freaked out by sharing a row with someone of less fortunate financial status? I think that people have forgotten the serious pros to bus travel. Greyhound now has new renovated buses with outlets, wifi, more legroom, and Trapiche Malbec on tap. Ok, the part about the wine may or may not be true, but if you want to crack open a bottle (or two) in the middle of your journey, I guarantee you no one will say SHIT. Especially if you're sitting next to children. Imagine doing that if you're behind the wheel on the way to Dallas.
I recently just did the voyage from Houston-New Orleans. I'm still alive, I'm still borderline sane, I'm clean and no one robbed me. I even ate well. Quite possibly the best part about the journey is the beforehand preparation.... call me a freak, but I truly get a thrill out of preparing for my trip. Three sandwiches at Tom Thumb, check. Chocolate chip cookies, check. Dr. Pepper, check. Fully charged phone & computer, check (although I do secretly get off on wondering if my undercharged battery will make it to the next stop so I can quickly charge it just in time not to miss my bus), book that I'll never read because I sleep the entire journey, check. I arrived in New Orleans a few short hours later, well rested, ready to party and unhungry (I really wish there were a word for that... not quite full, but just not hungry, you know?) The journey on the way back was pretty interesting. I won't go into depth because I don't want to ruin my lesson of why bus travel is so damn cool, but let's just say I was sitting on the floor , stuck between the legs of a fat ass sous chef from Lafayette, while munching on catfish discussing the future of the New Orleans Saints like I actually gave a damn about football. If you're willing to sacrifice a bit of comfort for a unique experience, better price and fun, call me up and I'll show you how to let Greyhound (or even Megabus) take you to places you've never been before. Or just stay sleepy behind the wheel listening to shitty American pop music and struggle to keep yourself awake by singing at the top of your lungs while your "co-pilot" is passed out next to you. I bet that catfish and wine sounds pretty delicious now, doesn't it? Go Saints!
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