Well kids, the time finally has come. I’m finally leaving the United States of America. Living overseas has always been a recurring daydream of mine, but I never thought it would come true. Sure, I’m coming back at some point in 1-1.5 years, but it really makes you feel like you’re moving when you don’t even have a return ticket. Who knew, exactly 1 year ago, when I was sippin’ cocktails in Buenos Aires’ finest bars that I’d be planning a move there, one short year later. It’s amazing where life takes you. When I left that city, I told myself , “I’ll definitely live here someday”, and I guess I keep my promises. I’m excited, nervous, thrilled, scared, everything rolled up into one. Currently, I’m running around with like a chicken with its head cut off trying to get things accomplished. It doesn’t help that 9 days before my departure, I’m currently working in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. How the hell am I supposed to plan a move to Argentina when I’m not even in Dallas?!?
I’m taking off on Jan 31st, 2009. Since I feel like I’ve betrayed my European friends by not coming to Europe to study (come on, who’d pass up Buenos Aires, seriously), I’m going to take a mini-tour of Europe to see everyone. I land in Rome on Jan 31st, I’ll drop my bags off at Maria’s place, and I’ll start travelling from there. By the way, did anyone know that the British spell “traveling” with two Ls? It looks so much better that way, so please don’t hate one me for my double L usage. I’m not stupid, I’m just international. Anyways, Rome -> Barcelona on Ryan Air (gag me), Barcelona -> Paris -> Muenster -> Dusseldorf -> Amsterdam (god, someone help me) -> Vienna -> Budapest -> Milan -> Bologna -> and back to Rome. Then, I’ll leave directly from Rome -> Buenos Aires…I plan to keep a blog for all of my adventures in Europe, so I hope everyone can get a chance to read and see what crazy situations I get myself in. Be sure to check out the chapter on Amsterdam because if blogs could get an NC-17 rating, I’m sure that one will fall under that category.
So, once I get to Buenos Aires, I guess I’ll set up shop. I’ve got an apartment in a cool place called Recoleta, and I’m around the corner from where Evita is buried. I know that sounds creepy, but trust me, one of the most attractive parts of Buenos Aires is the outrageous Recoleta cemetery. I’m ready for fine dining, over the top nightclubs, and luxury living all at a low cost. To give you guys an idea of how cheap it actually is, my apartment is $750/month. While this may sound a bit expensive, keep in mind that 1) This apartment is a 2 bedroom apartment with a view 2) It’s in the center of Buenos Aires, in one of its best neighborhoods 3) It includes water, gas, electricity, cable and internet.. and it’s fully furnished! Try renting a 2 bedroom apartment in New York’s SoHo, London’s Mayfair, or the San Francisco’s Marina for that price.. Impossible!
Needless to say, I’m very excited, but with any move out of the country there are things I’ll miss about America and also things that I’ll have to get used to. I’ll name a few.
Things I’ll miss about America:
Customer Service- No where else in the world do sales attendants strive to please you, smile constantly as if their lips were being pulled apart by hooks, and offer you more water when your cup is only ½ of an inch away from the rim? Sometimes American customer service can be pretty annoying (especially if you have ever shopped @ Radio Shack or Buckle), but anything beats having to wait for the waiter to smoke his cig in the restaurant, in front of your face, before he comes and takes your order.
Getting what you want, when you want- Ah, the beauty of America. The epitome of the on demand culture. You want to have internet installed in your home? Same day service. Want mayo instead of mustard at Burger King even though the menu pictures clearly show that the sandwich comes with mustard? Sure, no problem. One time, when I lived in Spain, I went to Burger King…the same Burger King that’s famous for its “Have it your way” slogan. Anyways, I tried to order a Whopper w/ketchup + onion + mayo. The lady refused to put onions on my sandwich because it didn’t appear that way in the picture. “Si quieres cebolla, tienes que pedir un #2” “Pero el numero dos no tiene mayonesa, ni tocino”---Blank stare.. Translation: If you want onion, you’ll have to get the number two. Me: But the number two doesn't have mayonnaise or bacon…. I think the blank stare is pretty universal in all languages. Yeah, welcome to HAVE IT YOUR WAY. I thought about writing a letter to the franchise owner of that specific Burger King in Barcelona, but all I could imagine was some obese rich Spaniard wiping his face and ass with my letter of complaint. PS, I am known to write letters when things upset me.. If anyone would like a copy of the letter I wrote Greyhound, please ask. It’s a masterpiece.
Consistency- I know, I know.. part of the reason people travel is for variety, to experience things that are different than home, but unfortunately, even being spontaneous as I am, I love America’s consistency. What you see is what you get. The same product you ordered 5 days ago is just as likely to be there, and 100% sure guaranteed it’ll taste the same. In some other countries, not so much. And don’t even get me started on how products/services are never what they promise. You go into a barber shop for a haircut, they shave your balls. You buy a ticket for “The Dark Knight” but they show you “Cinderella”. These two things never actually happened to me, but I think you get the picture. The best part is that when you ask for an explanation (don’t even attempt to ask for your money back), you either 1) Get a blank stare 2) Ignored 3) Asi es.. “That’s how it is”.
WHAT I”LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH BY LIVING IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY:
Change, Change, Change- Why do ATMs spit out 100s and 50s, when shopkeepers laugh in your face when you attempt to purchase a $15 item with a $100 bill? Worst part is that you can even see the change in the register, but they refuse to cough it up. You pay for an item that's 5.94, and instead of the shopkeeper asking you if you have 6 cents to round it off (which isn’t completely outrageous), you’ll be asked if you have exact change, down to the 94 cents. When you don't, which you never do, they are often disgusted. This problem will be even worse in Argentina because they have a serious coin shortage. Which leads me to my next point…
Credit Cards- In America, we can swipe everything with our debit cards. Piece of .25 cent gum, sure, throw it on the debit card. It’s just convenient. I just have to come to terms with the fact that I’ll never be able to start a tab at a bar again for a longgg time. True story: I once tried to buy a bottle of wine in a bar in Argentina with my debit card. There were two bar areas inside the club, so I went to bar area #1. They told me that you could only use credit cards at bar #2. I went to bar #2, they referred be back to bar #1. This being referred back between Bar #1 and Bar #2 went on so long that I finally gave up. Turns out that it was actually the hidden bar, Bar #3 upstairs that had the CC machine. I went to Bar #3. Credit card doesn’t work. No wine. Rob stole drinks all night (and probably has mouth herpes now).
General Inconveniences in life and the inability to understand the system/whatever is happening around you-
This one is probably the biggest one. When things go on in a foreign language, in a different country, it’s really hard to adapt. I once called the largest hospital in Buenos Aires to ask for a dentist.. I was told that I was out of luck because the dentist was gone until Mid-March. One dentist? Really? Come on…Maybe I didn’t understand what she was saying, but I think I’m pretty fluent in Spanish. Stores open and close at random hours. ATM machines run out of cash. There are large groups of people running towards you, you don’t know what’s going on, but you have to run anyways to follow the crowd. This is shit I’ll have to deal with on a daily basis.
I guess all this bitching makes it sound like my living abroad experience will be shitty, but just remember kids, I’ll be studying foreign languages all day, drinking fine wine every night with a bunch of beautiful South Americans, eating steak, dancing in the world’s hottest nightclubs till 8am, and waking up whenever I want. Coming from a job where I worked 15 hours a day in a small town in South Dakota and getting up at the ass crack of dawn , this is paradise. It’s definitely worth it to put up with all of these inconveniences for the lifestyle that I’m set to live. Take away all those things I mentioned earlier, and the fact that I’ll probably be robbed at least once in my year there, and being 12 hours, 5000 miles and $1200 away from home in case anything serious happens, and no Sonic or Taco Bell, AND the risk of a serious financial crisis and deadly riots if the peso collapses again, BUT add a few glasses of fine Malbec wine, and I’ll be just fine.
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